Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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