i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
