"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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