it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
