Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
