I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
My breasts were aching with rage.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
