i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
