i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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