Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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