so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
