While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
