Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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