Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
