Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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