Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
