Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
