But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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