hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
