i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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