Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
