butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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