my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
