You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
home. puking in laundry basket.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
