Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
