how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
