Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
