Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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