I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
