Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Terrible idea I love it
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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