I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
