something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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