Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
