just tell him i said nine months
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
