i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
