whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
