I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
