Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Randomize
