I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
