I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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