i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
