when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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