my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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