..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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