glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
