...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Randomize
