So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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