Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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