remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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