She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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