Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Randomize
