Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I woke up under a house in Key West
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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