Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
