Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
