I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
