Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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