i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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